Blue Christmas
by cestmoi01
Summary: Jack's the one touching something he shouldn't for once, and boy is Daniel enjoying the consequences! Very mild J/D slash.


**Disclaimer**: As much as I might wish it, Jack and Daniel are not mine.

**A/N**: Not sure what I think of this one, I hope it turned out amusing. Thanks go to Toasted Toad for the beta.

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**Blue Christmas**

_by cestmoi01_

When they took the team pictures at the annual SGC Christmas party that year, Jack was blue. And not in the sad, melancholy, depressed sort of way but in the "my-skin-is-dyed-the-color-of-a-smurf" sort of way. It had been all Jack's fault, too, and his lover was thrilled; for once, Daniel had not been the one touching things he shouldn't have. And payback was great!

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They had been off-world (of course). Daniel was keeping Carter company as she collected the usual soil samples, the two of them chatting happily away while Teal'c and Jack kept an eye out for any hostiles. The planet seemed peaceful enough, and they weren't expecting any trouble...But then again, they _were_ SG-1.

Jack was bored, or at least pretending to be and the plants near the edge of the forest had looked interesting – unlike anything he had seen in his garden at home, or anywhere else on Earth, for that matter. So Jack was examining them – bending down to get a closer look through his sunglasses, pushing the leaves around and poking at one with his P-90.

It was when he leaned in even closer to see if they smelled at all that it happened. There was a loud POP! and a short shout of surprise from Jack. Something on one of the plants had burst open, and Jack was drenched in some sort of dark blue liquid.

The rest of his team immediately rushed over, and when it became apparent that Jack wasn't injured in any way except for his pride, they had a hard time containing their amusement. Well, except maybe Teal'c, who merely stated, "You are blue, O'Neill," giving Jack the distinct impression that the Jaffa was making a joke at his expense. Carter had a hand plastered tightly over her mouth to hold the snickers in, but she couldn't stop the laughter from showing in her bulging eyes. Jack glared at his second-in-command, which only sent her into a paroxysm of giggles that had to be stifled with a fist.

Daniel was the only one who laughed outright (of course), holding out his handkerchief – which was snatched away by blue-spotted hands with ill grace – and wiping the tears away from the corners of his eyes. He then snuck out the video camera that he kept in his pocket for archeological finds and surreptitiously started filming as Jack tried to wipe the blue stuff off his face and sunglasses.

Unfortunately, it appeared to have dried on and stuck there fairly quickly and would not be wiped off. Finally, Jack had to take his sunglasses off in order to see anything, and the sight he made was hilarious: graying hair streaked blue, blue spots on his usually impeccable uniform, a blue coating on his P-90, and a face which was almost completely blue except for circles around his eyes and a single line of clean flesh leading away from each one.

"You look like some weird raccoon, Jack," Daniel gasped between bursts of hearty laughter. Sam finally let out the great whoops of laughter that she had been holding in, and even Teal'c's lips twitched a little.

And that was how they entered the Gateroom a few minutes later – a smirking Teal'c and a giggling Sam leading the way, followed by a scowling Jack who had obviously been shoved through the wormhole by the grinning and laughing Daniel, who was catching the whole thing on tape.

* * * * *

In the infirmary, Janet also tried to clean the blue liquid off Jack's face, to no effect. Soon enough, she had determined that it was pretty much like any berry juice on Earth, just a little more potent when it came to staining things. It would wash off eventually, but Jack should be just fine – if a little blue – until then.

Daniel was having a blast, of course – this provided the perfect opportunity for payback for all the times Jack had told _him_ not to touch anything. As they cooked or cleaned or even just sat about together, he delighted in humming the song "Blue Christmas" and seemed to take particular enjoyment in singing the line, "But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas" and overemphasizing the word "blue" while wearing a smug grin. On the same day that a picture of Jack's blue face was taped to every tray in the commissary, Elvis' "Blue Christmas" mysteriously started playing over the SGC's PA system. Daniel's documentary of Jack's life with a blue face was a hit at the Christmas Party (especially with Feretti and SG-3), and not only that but someone had convinced Hammond that _this_ was the year to make team Christmas photos mandatory.

* * * * *

To Jack's relief, his face faded to a pale blue by New Year's Eve and was back to normal a week later. Daniel wouldn't admit it either, but he was a little pleased, too; it was decidedly disconcerting to be kissing the blue face and lips of your normally-not-blue lover.

That didn't mean, however, that Daniel didn't have multiple copies of that year's team photo hidden away somewhere, saved up for the day when he could put them to good use again...

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**A/N**: Feedback is love! Let me know what you think.


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